from a niece to her uncle.

So tomorrow is September 10th, 2012. The beginning of a week that is very close to me. A week that tears me apart and yet, puts me back together again at the same time. September 10th-15th is National Suicide Prevention week. About 10 years ago, labor day weekend, my uncle Jason never came home.

At 5 years old, it's kind of hard to understand the concept of death. I remember the police showing up at our door. I remember my aunt collapsing. I remember hearing her screaming as my parents took me upstairs. I remember sitting on my parents bed, being told my uncle wasn't coming home again. I remember thinking, "when is he coming home, then?" But then I looked at parents who had tears in there eyes and thinking that something wasn't right. At 5 years old, it's kind of hard to understand the condept of death.

My uncle was an undiagnost bipolar who had struggled with depression near the end of his life. But that's not who I remember him to be. I remember him with a smile on his face, letting me jump on his bed. I remember the uncle who always came home with a gold dollar for me. And that's who I chose to remember. One of the favorite men in my life. The man who loved my aunt with all his heart. The man who made everyone happy.

During this extremely hard week, I chose to remember my uncle. I chose to help anyone who could have ever possibly want to end their life. I chose to be there for anyone, and everyone. "You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters." You are not alone, and hope is real.

Jason, thanks for being the best you could be. I wish I could've known you longer, that I could've helped you. But I hang on to Romans 8:28 and and continue to hope. I love you and miss you so much. I'll always keep collecting those gold dollars.
Love,
your niece.